THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE
How patriarchal trauma impacts us in the workplace (and what we can do about it).
BY JEN LAWRENCE
The presence of patriarchy in the workplace is clear. An ILO/Lloyds/Gallup 2022 study found that 18% of women in the Americas experienced sexual violence or harassment at work. Women continue to be paid less than their male colleagues, are underrepresented in senior roles, and women-led enterprises receive less than 2% of funding from VCs.
What trauma comes from carrying the emotional, mental and physical stress of gender inequality? How does that impact us on the job? And more importantly, what can we do about it?
Patriarchal trauma and the workplace
Dr. Valerie Rein has identified a form of trauma called Patriarchal Stress Disorder: the collective, intergenerational trauma that comes from living under patriarchy. We have been conditioned to survive systemic femicide and violence by being nice, playing small, and following the rules. Many of us still carry patriarchal trauma that can be triggered when we feel psychologically unsafe.
For many people, the workplace can be traumatizing. In addition to workplace violence and harassment, we face interpersonal conflict, critical or disrespectful environments, microaggressions, low levels of autonomy, role overload, role ambiguity, and pay inequity. Job insecurity makes us feel particularly unsafe since we rely on our work to pay for food, shelter, and other needs.
Workplace trauma disproportionately impacts women. Women are less likely to be promoted into management and often stay in roles with limited autonomy. They are also more likely to experience burnout because they shoulder more responsibilities at home. That same ILO/Lloyds/Gallup study discovered workplace violence and harassment has a greater impact on those victimized by gender-based discrimination. Women are more likely to face pay inequity - not because they don’t ask for raises, but because they don’t receive them. This is likely driven by a “likeability bias” that views assertiveness in women as an unlikeable characteristic. As well, women are undermined by “performance bias” and “attribution bias” that underestimate a woman’s performance relative to a man’s. A 2021 StatsCan study showed that COVID job losses disproportionately impacted women. Patriarchy-driven workplace trauma is real.
Trauma and workplace thinking
Trauma has a major impact on the way we do our jobs since it impacts the prefrontal cortex or “rational brain”. This part of the brain allows us to think critically and creatively, work collaboratively, make ethical choices, analyze information, be productive, and make good decisions.
When we experience trauma, the rational brain takes a back seat to the more ancient brain designed to help us survive.
"When we experience trauma, the rational brain takes a back seat to the more ancient brain designed to help us survive."
This “survival brain” consists of the brain stem, limbic system, and cerebellum and when our central nervous system becomes dysregulated by a trauma response, this part of the brain drives our behaviours, no matter how “professional” we are.
Trauma response at work
We have four instinctive responses for when we feel threatened. If the central nervous system is hyper-aroused, we can move into a “fight” state and engage in interpersonal conflict. Under patriarchy, women who engage in conflict at work tend to be labeled as aggressive, which threatens promotability and job security. Women under patriarchy are more likely to move into a “flight” state and quit their jobs or take a leave of absence when traumatized. We saw this over COVID when a disproportionate number of women left the workplace as part of the “Great Resignation” or “Great Breakup.”
If the central nervous system is hyper-aroused, we can move into a “freeze” state where we cannot make decisions, get caught in a cycle of perfectionism, stop engaging at work, or get sick. This manifests as “quiet quitting”, absenteeism or presenteeism. We can also move into a “fawn” state, which is when we engage in people-pleasing to create psychological safety. The fawn response is very common among women as it aligns with patriarchal expectations that we are agreeable, cooperative, and defer to power. Fawning can be detrimental to the workplace.
In her book, The Fearless Organization, Harvard professor Amy Edmondson lists case after case of people supporting unethical and dangerous ideas because they did not feel psychologically safe enough to challenge authority.
Widening the window of tolerance
The key to managing trauma at work is to find ways to regulate our nervous systems. Dr. Dan Siegal uses the term “the window of tolerance” to describe the state where the central nervous system is in balance and our rational brain can engage. The key to widening the window of tolerance can happen at both a systemic and an individual level.
Organizations can help widen the window of tolerance through job security, pay transparency and equity, bias-monitoring talent systems, DEI initiatives, manager training, wellness initiatives and more. Studies have shown that such efforts are good for business, increasing productivity, revenue, and employee satisfaction, but not every organization is on board.
If you work for an organization that does not actively engage in trauma-informed business practices and harm reduction, you can widen the window on your own.
Some practices to consider:
1. Critical Questioning
It can be helpful to understand if a response to an issue is coming from a place of trauma. Let’s say a colleague has criticized you because your presentation has a spelling error, and you start to question your competence. It can be helpful to ask three questions:
- Why do I believe this? (I feel the need to be perfect.)
- Whose truth is this? (Patriarchal social conditioning requires me to be perfect.)
- What else could be true? (Women’s mistakes are more likely to be highlighted due to attribution and performance bias.)
By checking your own thinking biases and reframing the narrative, you can regulate your emotional response and analyze what’s really going on.
2. Boundaries
One of the best ways to create and uphold psychological safety is to have strong boundaries in place. Set a hard stop to your day. Minimize contact with a toxic co-worker. If your organization won’t respect your boundaries, it’s time to look for another job.
3. Socialization
Reciprocal relationships and a strong community help make us feel safe. Find work friends to connect with in person or online. Join professional associations to widen your network and make time for friends.
4. Somatic Practices
It can be helpful to remind the brain that the body is safe through physical cues. 4-7-8 breathing is a terrific technique that puts emphasis on the exhale breath, signaling to the body that it is safe. You can find excellent how-to videos on YouTube. It can also be helpful to ground yourself emotionally by using your senses to make yourself aware of your physical surroundings.
This can be a helpful technique during endless Zoom meetings. Remind yourself to take a lunch break, hydrate, stretch, or walk around the block: when your body feels cared for, your window of tolerance expands.
Conclusion
Patriarchal trauma is a real workplace issue and there are ways to keep it from overwhelming you. The first step is to understand how trauma may be impacting you at work and then regulate your nervous system to re-engage the rational brain. Widening the window of tolerance will help give you the resources to identify harmful behaviours, start to dismantle patriarchy in your workplace, or find a psychologically safer job. DEFY
Jen Lawrence, MBA is Managing Director of Process Design Consultants Inc.. She draws on 30 years of experience in corporate training, investment banking, coaching, and management consulting to help organizations develop critical thinking, change management, and talent management skills with a trauma-informed lens.
